So I can't sleep.

There is a lot on my mind. I don't know why it's all glaring at me right now, but I'm overwhelmed.

I'm trying to conquer everything at once and I'm failing. I want to be held while I cry and comforted but there's no one there. I feel alone.

I'm trying seriously hard to see myself in a good light. But after the shit I've been through the past years I've been with him, it's really hard.

He wants to take my kids. Correction. He wants to take them out of Texas altogether. Away from me. That will ruin me. He calls me selfish that I don't want to uproot what little of an actual life I have here, and what little of a life my son will have, Ivan starts school in two weeks.

I don't know if my son is ready for school. He's seriously behind and that makes me feel like I've failed.

I want to paint but I'm blocked.

I want out but can't go.

I need tears.

I need sleep.

End rant.